Love Endures, Phoenix (Love Endures, #1) Read online

  ****

  Glenn came the next Saturday and asked if it would be okay to take Jonathan to a park near-by. I didn’t see any harm in it and let him.

  I called Angie, hoping we could meet up. She hadn’t come over during the week and I was desperate to talk to her. When I couldn’t reach her on the telephone, I decided that she must be off on another weekend adventure with Lucas. I prayed she was doing better.

  That left me in an empty house. I hadn’t experienced being alone for quite some time and ended up wondering the house like a ghost, thinking of Scott and missing him. With nothing to distract me from the loneliness, I grabbed my purse and left the little house.

  I drove around aimlessly, unsure where I was headed. I eventually ended up at the mall. I bought a latte and sat down in the food court. It held the same attraction for me as the airport. I enjoyed watching people in public when they weren’t aware of being watched.

  I was intently focused on a little boy sneaking food from his sister’s plate. I giggled under my breath each time he snuck a bite. Because of my focus, it took me a while to notice the professional woman standing next to me. She was wearing a white blouse with ridiculously large shoulder pads which, coupled with her cropped hairstyle, gave her the look of a man.

  She indicated the empty chair at my table and asked, “May I sit here?”

  I looked around and saw there were no other seats available, so I shrugged and said, “Sure, why not?”

  “My name is Deanna Jones. What’s yours?” She thrust out her hand.

  “Beth… Beth Reiner,” I stammered, taking her hand. I had not expected such a formal greeting in a food court. She shook my hand vigorously. Deanna sat down and began stabbing at her Chinese meal, mixing up the noodles and sauce.

  “That smells good,” I commented.

  “Would you like some?’ she asked, pushing the bowl towards me.

  I chuckled. “No, I was just enjoying the aroma.”

  “Do you come here often?” she asked between bites.

  “Actually no, I haven’t been out much these days. How about yourself?”

  “Yes, I’m here several times a week. I work not too far from the mall.” She slurped a noodle. “So what do you do for a living?”

  “Right now I am raising my son.” I took a sip of my coffee. “But I used to teach first grade.”

  She smiled. “So you like working with kids, do you?”

  “Yep, it’s my passion. What about you?”

  “I run the Prescription Pet Program at Children’s Hospital.”

  My ears perked up. “Really? I used to volunteer at a similar program for nursing homes.”

  “Isn’t it amazing what animal interaction can do for people?”

  We talked enthusiastically about our experiences. She asked about my program and I explained how it was set up. The Children’s Hospital program sounded far more rigorous in its expectations of the animals and volunteers and I was truly impressed. She mentioned that they were in the process of expanding their program. Before leaving, she gave me her card and suggested I call sometime. It seemed like God was having his way in my life. I said a prayer of thanks for the chance meeting.

  When I returned home, Glenn was already back with Jonathan. The two were playing in the front yard. Glenn had the sprinkler on and Jonathan was sitting just out of range of it. He was trying to grab the water and giggled whenever he got wet.

  “He’s been doing this for the last fifteen minutes,” Glenn said with a grin.

  I sat down next to him and watched. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have the wonder of a child?”

  “You just have to be with him and you have it,” he replied warmly.

  “Yes, of course you’re right. I guess that’s one of the main reasons I love being his mommy.” I smiled at Glenn and nudged him. “Thanks for the reminder.”

  Glenn hoisted himself off the ground. “Well, I gotta head out.”

  “Thanks for taking Jonathan out today.”

  “Oh no, you don’t have to thank me. I’m doing it for Jonathan,” and then he added, “….and Scott. But mostly for me.”

  “So we’ll see you next week?”

  “Neither rain, sleet, nor hail will keep me away from my appointed rounds,” Glenn said as he headed towards his car. I noticed it was new. Even though I wasn’t much of a car girl, I admired the sleek look of his dark blue Nissan. The only reason I knew it was a 300zx was that my brother Doug had recently bought one in canary yellow.

  “Nice car you got there, Glenn.”

  “Thanks! One thing Scott taught me is that life is too short to drive a clunker. I spent all my savings, but this baby is completely paid for,” he said, proudly patting the roof.

  I gave him a thumbs-up. I hoisted Jonathan onto my hip and said, “Say bye-bye to Uncle Greywolf, little man.” We waved as Glenn drove away. Then I walked into the house and made my way to the computer.

  I sat down next to it and pointed to the Lighthouse screen. “Someday, my son, all this will be yours.” With a little difficulty, I typed while balancing Jonathan on my lap.

  ____________

  Title: Hello My Fellow Lighthousers

  From: Phoenix #1

  ____________

  I wanted to welcome Tranquility back to our board. It’s been a long time, so some of y;lk’;ou may not know her. Please make her feel welcome.

  I visited with a lady who works 565ggrt for a program called Prescription Pets. It’s a lot like what I used to do at the nursing homes. Who kbhthhbgnows, I might check them out sometime later.

  Having one of those days missing Scott. :^(

  890786op8i78oy,9p

  --Phoenix

  PS – Little Keeper helped me type!

  Sad Truth

  Angie cancelled on me again, but I wasn’t going to take it lying down. I called her, ready for a showdown. “Ang, say yes to meeting with me on Wednesday. Any other answer is not permitted.”

  “I’m sorry, Beth. My schedule is full. I can’t spare the time. Maybe next week.”

  “That’s what you told me last week.”

  “Some of us have jobs, you know.”

  “Is that supposed to be a dig to get me to shut up? Well, it isn’t going to work. You don’t have to come here. I can meet you. I’m sure my parents would be willing to watch Jonathan.”

  “Seriously. My whole week is booked and I am flying out Friday evening with Lucas.”

  I was desperate to connect with her. “Ang, I don’t understand. Why are you avoiding me?”

  She sounded detached when she answered. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. I’m busy. In fact, I’ve got a client coming so I have to go.”

  I made a last ditch effort to find out what was wrong. “Just tell me, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”

  I heard an exaggerated sigh before she finished with a curt, “I’m fine. Good-bye.”

  I was worried about Angie, but was at a complete loss what to do. I left a message on the board to see if my friends had any advice. This was one time I was grateful Angie did not call The Lighthouse.

  ____________

  Title: What would you think?

  From: Phoenix #1

  ____________

  Hey gang, what would you think if a friend suddenly stopped seeing you and seemed depressed and distant? Keep in mind that this person has a mate and something seems odd between them.

  --Phoenix

  ____________

  Title: Mind My Own Business

  From: Mr. Ed #34

  ____________

  I think the answer is easy enough: I WOULD MIND MY OWN BUSINESS!

  --Mr. Ed

  ____________

  Title: You need to talk

  From: Daisy #18

  ____________

  In response to your question, Phoenix, I have to say the most important thing you can do is to have a heart to heart with this person. Something is obviously wrong and until you know what it is, you
cannot help.

  Unlike Mr. Ed, I believe it is your business because this person is your friend.

  --Daisy

  ____________

  Title: Dangerous Situation

  From: Runner #22

  ____________

  I believe this could be a serious situation and you need to confront your friend as soon as possible.

  I made the mistake of not doing anything and in my case my friend committed suicide. I cannot stress enough that if yourfriend is struggling you need to find out sooner rather than later. Sometimes there are no second chances.

  --Runner

  ____________

  Mike, AKA Runner’s, post surprised and scared me. He had never been real on the board before, always playing the oversexed male. But what he was suggesting now frightened me. Was it possible that Angie could be contemplating suicide? I couldn’t imagine my fun-loving friend ever getting to that point, but with all the changes recently I began to wonder.

  I felt sorry for Mike. I never suspected under that obnoxious exterior there was someone hurting underneath. I needed to chat with him on the board sometime. He deserved a one-on-one conversation after sharing something so personal.

  That evening, I asked my parents to babysit and made a surprise visit to Angie’s. The look on her face completely confused me. At first her eyes lit up like old times, and then a look of utter dread came over her face.

  “Who is it?” I heard Lucas call irritably from inside the apartment.

  “Nobody, just some salesperson,” Angie answered. I stared at her in disbelief.

  Lucas growled, “Tell him to go to hell. There is a no soliciting sign clearly posted.”

  Angie whispered, “Meet me at the dumpster outside.”

  I complied, suddenly far more worried about my friend. She met me five minutes later with a trash bag in her hand. “What the heck is going on?” I asked, unable to hide my concern.

  “I’m sorry about this, Beth. Lucas is having a bad week. You really don’t want to be around him when he’s like this.”

  “What are you talking about? If he is being a jerk, tell him to leave.”

  “No, it is easier to keep him happy than risk pissing him off.”

  “Angie, do you hear yourself? I can’t believe you would let a guy control you like that. You used to give me a hard time about being too focused on Scott, but look at you!”

  Angie instantly got defensive and turned to leave. I grabbed her arm and demanded, “What is really going on here? I’m your best friend, remember?”

  “Beth, things are hard right now, but it’ll get better. Don’t worry about it.”

  “What’s hard?” Angie gave me an ugly look and tried to rip herself from my grasp. “Talk to me, Ang. I’m not letting go until you do.”

  “Look, it’s just that Lucas has been in a dark mood lately. He wouldn’t be able to handle you coming over tonight, Beth. Trust me.”

  “I don’t understand. For the most part Lucas seemed happy the last time I was here. He went on and on about how wonderful you are.”

  “He did that for you. Lately, all I’ve heard is how badly I’m screwing things up.”

  “Well, then it’s time to get rid of the guy! There is no point in going out with someone who only brings you down.”

  Angie looked distressed. “But I love him! Besides, he is not usually like this.”

  “Ang, you can do better than Lucas. I mean seriously, look at us right now. Talking next to a garbage can? This isn’t normal.”

  “I’ve got to go. I’ve been gone too long already...”

  “Please, Angie, come with me. Let’s go to my house and we’ll talk. Please.”

  Angie was already heading back. “I’ll call you sometime. Don’t worry about me.”

  I got on the BBS when I got home, desperate to help my friend. I was careful not to mention names when I posted.

  ____________

  Title: How can you tell?

  From: Phoenix #1

  ____________

  I took your advice and I tried to talk to my friend. She hid the fact I was there from her boyfriend. How messed up is that? I have never seen her like this.

  I think she is being abused, but I have never seen a mark on her and she hasn’t complained about him hurting her. She did say he has been in a dark mood lately and he complains about everything she does.

  What is hard for me to understand is why she doesn’t want to leave him. Any advice or experience with this?

  --Phoenix

  ____________

  The next morning, I got up early to read my friend’s answers to my question.

  ____________

  Title: Get Her Help

  From: Daisy #18

  ____________

  Phoenix, it sounds bad. He may not be abusing her physically, but it sure sounds like mental abuse. Sometimes that can be just as harmful.

  She needs to get out of that relationship before it escalates.

  --Daisy

  ____________

  Title: My Mistake

  From: Mr. Ed #34

  ____________

  I am not usually one to admit when I’m wrong, but here it goes. I was wrong, this is your business.

  Phoenix, it sounds like your friend is in trouble. My advice it to call an abuse hotline and see what they say. Enough said.

  --Mr. Ed

  ____________

  Title: Emergency

  From: Greywolf #69

  ____________

  Phoenix, you know with all of our teacher training that you cannot take any signs of abuse lightly. Although you and I are only familiar with child abuse, I am sure the same applies to adults.

  I agree with Mr. Ed, call the abuse hotline and find out what needs to be done. Report it if you have to.

  BTW, I’m available if you need me to watch Jonathan anytime this week.

  --Glenn

  ____________

  After reading their posts, I immediately looked up the battered women’s center in the phone book. I called the number and was connected to a helpful woman named Linda.

  “Beth, your friend will need to come to the center to document the abuse. If she had any injuries, she will also need to visit the ER to make a chart of any current and past physical abuse. Understand that she has to specifically state that it was caused by her boyfriend. If she does this, the doctors are required to work with the Public Defender’s Office to secure protection for her and get an arrest warrant for the abuser.”

  “What if my friend is reluctant to do that?”

  Linda stressed that it was up to her. “Unless your friend initiates it, nothing can be done.”

  I called Angie, even though it was only 7:30 in the morning. But before I dialed, I said a quick prayer. “God, I am really worried about my friend. Could you please bless the conversation I’m about to have?”

  I dialed her number, but it was Lucas who picked up—it seemed like he practically lived at her apartment these days. I tried to stroke his ego by asking, “Lucas, would it be okay for Angie to come to my place tonight?”

  “She’s busy.”

  “I know she is, but I’ve been going through a rough week. I’m really missing Scott. I could use her company. I’m desperate… please…” I cried for a little added sympathy.

  The phone was silent and then he said, “You can ask her yourself.” He handed the phone over to Angie.

  “What are you doing calling this early, Beth?”

  “Hey, sorry about that but I was wondering if you could come over tonight? I know it’s a long drive after work. I really need to talk to you. It’s urgent.”

  “I don’t know, Beth. I don’t have the time.”

  I heard Lucas say in the background. “You should go.”

  “I guess I’m coming,” she said in a lackluster voice. I was confused by her response. Didn’t she want to get away from him? Didn’t she want to talk to me?

  “Okay, I’ll se
e you tomorrow then.”

  Angie didn’t even say good-bye. She just hung up on me.

  I called Glenn and explained what was going on. He agreed to take Jonathan for a couple of hours so I could take care of my friend.

  Secrets

  Angie was reluctant to talk when she arrived at my house. After a few awkward minutes, I decided to make a pot of coffee and I brought out a bowl of chocolates. She smiled and unwrapped one, stuffing it in her mouth with relish.

  “How have you been?” I asked nonchalantly, grabbing my own chocolate from the bowl.

  She shrugged her shoulders and continued chewing. But then she asked, “So what’s wrong with you? Lucas said you are having troubles.”

  “My trouble is that my best friend won’t see me or talk to me and I am worried about her.”

  “Hmm…so this was all a ruse, huh?”

  “No, I am completely serious. I am worried about you, Ang.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I already told you not to worry about it. You are making a big deal out of nothing.”

  “Has Lucas ever hurt you?”

  Angie looked shocked. “What? It is not like that. Lucas would never hurt me on purpose.”

  “So, he’s hurt you accidently?” I pressed.

  “That’s not what I meant.” She frowned. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Beth!”

  “I’m just trying to understand. You don’t seem like yourself anymore. You’ve been really down lately.” Angie started to tear up. I thought she was going to finally tell me what was going on, but she remained silent. “How can I help you if you won’t talk to me?” I pleaded.

  It took her several moments to speak. It was obvious she was having difficulty getting the words out. “I’m so ashamed.” Angie paused. A tear fell as she finally opened up to me. “I don’t know how it got to this point.”

  “What’s happened?”

  “I feel embarrassed even saying anything. But there have been a few times…” She stopped and looked away from me.

  “Come on, just say it. Spit it out,” I implored.

  She looked down at her cup and began to stir her coffee slowly. “There was one time Lucas pushed me to the ground. But he was overly upset and rightfully so. I’d totally pissed him off.”

  I swallowed hard, trying to keep calm. “Have there been any others?”

  “Well, he pulled my hair once. But we were having a huge argument and I wanted to leave the apartment.”

  “Angie, a boyfriend shouldn’t do that. It is not okay.”

  “I feel stupid now. I think I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Both times we were having terrible fights. I said some pretty awful things to him.”

  “Angie, look at me. He should never touch you when he is angry.”

  “You don’t know him, Beth. Lucas had a horrific childhood.” Her eyes looked as if they held some terrible secret. “If you only knew…” She started stirring her coffee in an agitated manner. Then she whispered, “Oh Beth, if you knew you would understand why he acts the way he does sometimes.”

  “Feeling sorry for him doesn’t give him the right to hurt you,” I insisted.

  “I love Lucas, Beth. He loves me, too. He is the smartest guy I’ve ever met and I have learned so much being with him. It’s just that he has this anger issue.”

  “But Angie, you’re scared of him!”

  “No, I just don’t like it when he gets angry. It takes so long to calm him down, you know?” She said it as if it was a commonplace occurrence.

  “I never had that problem with Scott. Yes, we argued. But he never once touched me in anger.”

  “Well, Lucas is not Scott. What can I say? Not everyone is perfect.” Angie’s words stung and I recoiled from her. She knew she had overstepped the line and grasped my hand. “I’m sorry, Beth. I shouldn’t talk about Scott like that. Forgive me?”

  Now I was even more determined to make her face the truth. “Angie, I called a battered women’s center. If you come with me right now, we can document what’s happened. I don’t want you to get seriously hurt during one of his ‘accidents’.”

  Angie looked horrified. “I told you, Beth. It’s not like that! Lucas is not an abuser. I can’t believe you.”

  “I care about you, Ang,” I put my hand around her, but she pulled away. I could see I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I changed tactics. “Okay, just promise me two things. First, if he ever hurts you again, you will come straight over here; accident or no accident. And two, you have to keep visiting me every week. If you stop coming, I am going to assume something is seriously wrong.”

  She calmed down after my demands were made. Angie actually smiled when she grabbed another chocolate. “Okay fine. I agree to both, but you don’t have anything to worry about.”

  “I hope so.” Before she left, I slipped the number for the Battered Women’s Center into her purse. I prayed that she would never have to call it.

  Glenn returned after Angie left. When Glenn tried to put Jonathan down, he protested. “I think he likes you,” I complimented. “What did you do to earn that kind of affection? Do you spoil him rotten when I’m not around?”

  “I’ll never tell,” Glenn answered, picking Jonathan back up. “It’s our little secret.” They touched heads together and I heard Jonathan giggle softly. It was endearing, but I was worried about Angie.

  “I don’t know what to do, Glenn. My friend wouldn’t want me talking to other people, but I am extremely worried about her.”

  He sat down on the couch and bounced Jonathan on his knee playfully, but his look was serious when he spoke. “Let’s make a deal. Don’t tell me your friend’s name and I won’t ask. Just tell me what’s got you worried.”

  I smiled gratefully and explained what she said and how she reacted when I confronted her. “She doesn’t seem to think there is a problem.”

  “Beth, I hate to say this, but I don’t think there is anything more you can do. I asked several sources and it’s clear that she has to be the one to take action.”

  “I know,” I said miserably. “But how can you open the eyes of someone who is purposely keeping them shut? I don’t understand how she could love him when he’s being so unkind and controlling.” I stroked Jonathan’s hair, trying to fight back the tears.

  “Love is a strange thing, Beth. People are willing to put up with a lot of pain for it.” Glenn spoke with such conviction that it made me wonder again about his past.

  I shook my head sadly. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt.”

  “It would be nice to believe that.”

  I looked at Glenn thoughtfully, hoping he would share more. When he failed to I said, “Well, something positive did come out of the talk with my friend. She promises to come to me if it happens again. I also gave her the number to the battered women’s center.”

  Jonathan was anxious to be mobile, so Glenn put him on the floor and he made a beeline towards the kitchen. “Unfortunately, Beth, that’s about all you can do.”

  “Do you mind if we pray?” I asked. Glenn looked at me strangely and it took an instant for me to register why. “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just something that Scott and I used to do. I forgot you’re not into that.”

  He chuckled lightly. “Hey, Scott and I may have been a lot alike, but that is not something we shared.”

  I was embarrassed, so I offered to make dinner in order to gracefully vacate the scene. Glenn played with Jonathan while I was cooked a simple meal of boxed mac-n-cheese and frozen broccoli. I served it on paper plates in order to save on dishes. Ever since becoming a single parent, I’d pretty much given up on cooking and dishes. Thankfully, Glenn didn’t seem to care.

  While we ate, he made a suggestion I couldn’t pass up. “Beth, I was wondering if you would like to join Jonathan and me sometime on one of our Saturday outings. I’ve been thinking of exploring the best parks in Denver with this little guy. I’ve been researching them and thought it would be cool to rate them as we go.”

 
Being a mom, there were times I was jealous of other people taking my son out on new adventures. I wanted to see his reactions and share in his wonder and joy. Frankly, I didn’t want to miss a thing. “That sounds like fun to me.”

  “Great.” He stabbed a broccoli with his fork and waved it in front of Jonathan before popping it into his mouth. Jonathan squealed in childish mirth at Glenn’s antics.

  I couldn’t help laughing. “It takes so little to entertain this boy.” I rubbed the top of Jonathan’s fuzzy head. “So when should I plan on it?”

  “Whatever weekend is convenient for you. It doesn’t matter to me.”

  “Well, we could do this Saturday. I’ve heard we’re supposed to have amazing weather on the weekend. I can even pack a lunch for the three of us if you’d like.”

  “Sounds good.” Glenn winked at me as he teased Jonathan with another broccoli.

  On Saturday I packed a simple lunch of sandwiches, chips, and juice boxes into a small cooler. I met Glenn down at Denver’s City Park. The huge park surrounded Denver's impressive natural history museum.

  Being a busy place, it took me a while to find a parking spot. I made my way to the front of the building with Jonathan in my arms. Glenn was already there waiting for us. He took the cooler from my hand and we began walking leisurely down one of the paths lined with large shade trees. “What's the museum like?” Glenn asked, pointing to the large brick building.

  “You've never been?” I was a little shocked because he was a high school teacher and all, but then I remembered he only taught math. “You should go sometime. It is the kind of place you can spend a whole day exploring. The minerals exhibit is cool. I just love looking at all the gems and natural gold pieces, plus they have a crystal cave that’s totally unbelievable. But my favorite area is the North American exhibit, especially the wolves.” Glenn let out a howl in honor of his BBS alias. I laughed, enjoying his odd sense of humor.

  The sky was full of puffy clouds, making the day pleasantly warm instead of hot. I looked around and saw the grass littered with people lying out to get some sun. I was envious of individuals who could tan when all I ever did was burn and freckle. I eventually found a comfortable spot in the shade, next to the large lake.

  “Will this work?” I asked.

  “Looks good to me,” Glenn replied. He put the cooler down and sat beside me. When my son leaned towards him, Glenn took Jonathan off my lap.

  I looked out over the water and noticed several couples in paddleboats. “That sure looks like fun, doesn’t it?”

  I guess he thought I was making a suggestion, because he asked, “Do you want to go out on the water, Beth?”

  “Nah, I was just making conversation. I doubt Jonathan is even old enough.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Glenn replied with a lopsided grin. We stared at each other awkwardly and then his stomach growled. Glenn raised an eyebrow and looked towards Jonathan, pretending it was him.

  “Very funny. Jonathan’s stomach isn’t that loud,” I teased. “Isn’t it a little early to be hungry?”

  Glenn shrugged and smiled charmingly when his stomach growled a second time.

  “Well, I hope you like sandwiches, Wolffie.”

  “I do, Beth. Thanks.”

  I handed him a roast beef sandwich and a bag of chips. The two of us enjoyed a mid-morning picnic under the shadow of trees while Jonathan drank from his bottle.

  I’d brought peanuts for the squirrels and several of the curious creatures visited us while we ate. One came close to Jonathan and he screeched gleefully. The squirrel exited the scene as if the hounds of hell were chasing after it.

  “Did you know there's a squirrel in this park that actually attacks people?” Glenn informed me. “I heard it on the news recently.”

  “Sounds a bit like the killer rabbit in Monty Python’s Holy Grail,” I giggled. When the next squirrel approached I shuddered in pretend fear.

  Glenn cupped his hands and shouted, “Watch out, killer rodent on the loose!” A family passing by looked at us strangely and we both broke into hysterics.

  After we finished lunch, I lay down on the grass. I looked at the blue sky through the leaves, grateful for the peaceful moment. I turned my head and saw that Jonathan was fast asleep on Glenn’s chest. It was wonderful to lie there listening to the sounds of others playing in the park. I sighed happily, murmuring, “This is the life…”

  We stayed there more than a half-hour in pleasant silence until Glenn said. “I loved you the first moment I met you.”

  I turned towards him chuckling, certain it was a repeat of the joke he’d played at Elitch’s with Scott—but the intensity of his eyes scared me.

  “Seriously, Beth, I’ve loved you since the Christmas party.”

  I was too shocked to say anything and looked back up at the sky.

  “The first time I saw you I was taken by your red hair, but it’s so much more than just your beauty. You and I can discuss any topic and I thoroughly enjoy your humor.”

  I closed my eyes. “Glenn, please…don’t say any more.”

  “I have kept this inside for so long. I want, no I need you to know how I feel.”

  “Okay,” I said reluctantly, giving him permission to continue although I desperately wanted him to take it back.

  “Beth, please look at me.”

  I turned my head towards him, fearful his words would kill the friendship we had.

  Glenn’s blue eyes sparkled when he confessed, “Just being near you makes me happy. You feel like home to me.” The look of adoration in his eyes made me blush. “I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I met you.”

  I felt absolutely wretched. There Glenn was pouring out his heart while Jonathan lay on his chest sleeping. If I shared his feelings, the scene would have been incredibly romantic. Instead, I was feeling growing panic. Was there a way to spare his feelings and keep our friendship? I couldn’t afford to lose Glenn in my life.

  “Remember the day at the amusement park?” he asked.

  I looked at him wearily. Those memories took on a whole different meaning now. “Of course I remember, Glenn.”

  “I told you how I felt then, although it was up as a ‘joke’. But the hardest day of my life, the ultimate test of my sanity, was watching the two of you get married. A part of me died that day.”

  How could he love me for years? He had to be kidding… I would have known if he wasn’t. “No, Glenn. I don’t believe you.”

  “You have to understand, Beth, Scott was my best friend and I knew how he felt about you. I already explained the history between us. I had no choice but to keep my feelings to myself. I wasn’t willing to lose Scott as a friend.”

  I looked back up at the sky, unsure what to say. I hated to hurt Glenn, but I didn’t share his feelings. After several minutes, he broke the awful silence.

  “Would it have been better if I waited to tell you?”

  I continued to look skyward. “No, it wouldn’t have made a difference.”

  More silence.

  “Beth, could you ever love me?”

  I focused on a cloud shaped like a bird when I answered. “I do love you, Glenn, but not in that way. You’re like a brother to me. I can’t imagine seeing you as anything else.”

  Glenn didn’t respond. I snuck a glance, but his head was turned from me. We lay there in complete silence until Jonathan began to stir on Glenn’s chest. He gently handed Jonathan to me without saying a word. Then he got up and left.

  “I’m sorry…” I whispered as he walked away.