Phoenix Rising (Phoenix of the Heart) Read online

(and I use the term loosely) Beth,

  I hope you are happy. I can’t believe I had feelings for someone like you. You claim that you aren’t a girl who plays games, but you sure outplayed me.

  You were a total tease, denying me any action because you’re “not that kind of girl”.

  Well, it turns out you are nothing but a lying tramp. Don’t bother calling.

  --Jim

  I hated how Jim made me feel. Part of me desperately wanted to defend myself, but I realized it would be easier to let it end like this. I hit the delete key and moved on.

  The next e-mail was from Mike. My first instinct was to delete it, but then I remembered Scott telling me that Mike helped Jim leave the party peacefully. Reading his e-mail was the least I could do:

  Phoenix,

  I’m sorry things went so badly for you last night. Your boyfriend is a complete knee-biter. You should get rid of the guy. I’d be happy to replace him.

  By the way, you make a cute drunk.

  --Runner (that’s Mike to you!)

  I was embarrassed by his comment, but thanked him for taking care of Jim. I went back and erased a witty remark I made concerning Mike replacing Jim before I sent it. I didn’t need Mike thinking I was serious about his offer.

  The last e-mail in the queue was a short message from Scott written at 3:55, just before he left for the airport.

  Beth,

  I’m assuming you haven’t called because you didn’t get my message yet. You left so abruptly this afternoon, I wasn’t sure what happened. I’m going to call tomorrow after I finish with my work. Hopefully you’ll be home so we can talk.

  Sincerely,

  Scott

  I felt a flood of relief knowing I wouldn’t have to wait a week to talk to him. But Monday night seemed ages away. I felt certain that once we talked everything would work itself out. Until then, I would just have to suffer.

  It’s Over or Is It?

  Monday was difficult to struggle through. I was so tired from the weekend that I had little energy for my students. It took everything I had just to handle typical hiccups throughout the day.

  “Tasha, you know you’re not supposed to put crayons in the sharpener. Now poor Miss Lynn is going to have to clean it out.”

  “Bobby, no tipping. How many times do I have to tell you that? You know how unsafe it is. That’s right, all four legs on the floor… Bobby!”

  “Okay, class, let’s come to the carpet for story time.” I sang out my little reminder, “Crisscross, apple sauce, spoons in the bowl. Christina, where are you spoons supposed to be? In the bowl, that’s right. Then why are you braiding Julia’s hair? Please keep your spoons to yourself.”

  I looked at the clock, counting down the minutes to the last bell. When it finally sounded, I rushed my kids out the door, but Bobby took an extra ten minutes to get all his stuff ready to go. After I’d ushered… no, pushed him out the door, I finished writing my lesson plans for the next day. Because I hadn’t graded papers over the weekend, I grabbed a huge stack to take home with me.

  I was almost out the door when I heard an announcement on the intercom reminding the staff about a special meeting taking place in the cafeteria. I groaned, knowing it could take up to two hours. All I wanted was to go home and wait for Scott’s call, but I dutifully changed direction and headed to the cafeteria.

  I sat and watched the seconds slowly tick by as we were informed about budget cuts and sacrifices that needed to be made within the school. Mrs. Russell tried to sound optimistic, but it was a depressing ordeal. Before I left, I signed up to join a committee in charge of coming up with creative ways to deal with the new cuts. I doubted we could make a difference, but I had to make an attempt. I knew my job was on the line.

  I checked my answering machine as soon as I got home and was relieved to see there were no messages. I glanced over at the huge stack of papers I’d brought home and winced. At least it would give me something to do while I waited. Halfway through my homework, the phone rang.

  “Hi, Scott!” I blurted without waiting to make sure who it was.

  Scott chuckled. “Hello, Beth.”

  “I can’t believe you’re calling long distance. This could end up costing a fortune.”

  “I’m not worried about the money, and I’m glad you’re home. I didn’t feel good about yesterday.”

  “Me either, you were so wonderful to me. I shouldn’t have left without at least saying good-bye.”

  “You did leave me wondering what happened.”

  “I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to admit to my jealous streak, so I explained, “I wasn’t feeling myself.”

  “That’s certainly understandable.” Scott paused for a moment. “Have you talked to Jim recently?”

  “No, but he left several messages.” I hesitated, unsure how much to share. I decided to keep it simple. “Jim doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I’m just glad it’s over.”

  “I’m relieved to hear that, Beth.”

  I remembered Scott’s odd comment at the party. “Do you know him?”

  “I don’t know him personally, but I’ve heard rumors from other SysOps.”

  “What kind of rumors?”

  “Let’s just say he doesn’t have a good reputation.”

  I needed him to clarify. “What do you mean exactly?”

  Scott didn’t answer me right away, and when he spoke, it seemed he was picking his words carefully. “According to the other SysOps, Jim’s been intimate with quite a few female users. The number is so high, in fact, that he has been nicknamed Casanova by the Denver SysOps. Understand, Beth, I don’t give credence to rumors, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt when they ask to join The Lighthouse. However, if they prove a menace to anyone in my group, I delete them off the board. I’m going to delete Jim unless you say otherwise.”

  “No, please don’t. I would feel bad. He really likes your BBS.”

  “Then you should know that I’ll be watching him carefully from now on. If he messes with any of my users again, he’s gone.”

  I felt like such an idiot. Jim didn’t care about me; he saw me as just another notch on his bedpost. The revelation left me speechless. Scott wisely changed the subject to something he knew I loved. “So tell me about your day at school.”

  I gladly switched topics. There was an easy, comfortable flow to the conversation which made me feel as if I were talking to someone I’d known for years. I asked Scott about his day, and learned that the account he was working on was extremely important.

  “I believe in our product, Beth, and I know it would really benefit this company. Still, I think it’s going to be a tough sell. With the economy struggling like it is, companies are hesitant to invest in their future right now. We need their business, and they need our product, so I hope I can convince them to loosen those purse strings temporarily.”

  The conversation became more personal and enlightening when I asked, “So where did you go to college? I went to the University of Montana. It’s no Harvard, but it got me the degree I needed.”

  “Yeah, actually I didn’t go to a traditional college. I decided to take on various jobs until I found something that sparked my passion. Once I landed on it, I found the quickest route for my degree, took out several loans, and worked at Wendy’s to get by.” He added in a nasal voice, “Hey, miss, you want fries with that? I guarantee they’re fresh and perfectly salted.”

  “I swoon,” I answered playfully.

  His chuckle was low and endearing. “So anyway, I’m still paying off my student loans, but I don’t regret a single decision. I’m exactly where I want to be career-wise. How many people can say that at my age?”

  “Funny, I feel the same way. I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was a little kid. I love my job and wouldn’t change a thing, even though the pay isn’t great.”

  “Unfortunately, my sister hasn’t found her calling yet, but it hasn’t stopped Jeannie from enjoying life.”

  I liked
that he was sharing about his family. “How many siblings do you have?”

  “Just my sis, my parents split up when I was young.” His tone let me know the topic was off limits. “Well, it’s getting late here.”

  I glanced at my clock and saw it was already past eleven. “Oh wow, you’re right.”

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. And Beth, expect a small surprise tomorrow.” Before I could question him on it, I heard the buzz of the dial tone.

  My eyes drifted over to my half-finished stack of papers, and I let out a huge sigh. Oh well, they’d just have to wait. I got ready for bed and curled up under my soft comforter. I was curious what his surprise would be and couldn’t stop thinking about it. I finally decided Scott would leave a message on The Lighthouse. I was determined to check in the morning before I left for work. With that mystery solved, I could finally rest. I fell asleep that night with a smile on my lips, knowing somebody cared about me.

  Unfortunately, I woke up late the next morning and had to scramble out of bed. There was no time to take a shower or mess with my makeup. I drove over the speed limit just to get to school on time. I was upset I hadn’t gotten a chance to look for Scott’s message and that I now had to wait the entire school day.

  To add to my deplorable morning, I received a message from the secretary saying one of my parents was unhappy and wanted to talk with me. I spent my lunch on the phone explaining why Bobby had been sent to the principal’s office for clogging three toilets with paper towels.

  My students were just finishing their graphs on weather when I heard a knock at the