Love Endures, Phoenix (Love Endures, #1)
Love Endures, Phoenix
By
Michelle Stevens
Love Endures, Phoenix
Copyright 2013 by Red Phoenix
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
michellestevensauthor@hotmail.com
Special thanks to Jo-Anna Walker, Diane Barr, and Jacque the Book Pimp
Book cover design by CopperLynn
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.
CONTENTS
New Beginnings
The Unexpected
Chance Meeting
Sad Truth
Secrets
Smell the Roses
Anniversary
Release
Open My Eyes
About the Author Michelle Stevens
New Beginnings
I was there again, at the car accident. I saw the brown sedan crushed in the front. I hesitantly approached the driver’s side, noticing the cracked window smeared in crimson. Even though I was frightened, I was drawn to take a closer look. I leaned against the window and peered through the spider web of cracks. The man clearly had a gaping wound on the side of his head, but I couldn’t make out the details of his face. One thing was certain, he was dead; he was definitely dead.
I turned towards the red Fiero. I knew to the core of my being that if I saw his face, my heart would stop beating. I headed towards it anyway. The sports car was severally misshapen. No one could have survived the impact of the crash. I knew that, but I continued forward. I had to be sure. I saw the outline of a body slumped over the steering wheel as I approached. “Nooo…”
I woke up shaking. The same dream had haunted me for weeks and each night I got closer to the car before the dream ended. I was deathly afraid that one night I wouldn’t wake up in time. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him dead, even in a dream.
I closed my eyes and let Mrs. Pinkerton’s words resonate through me. “Bad things are going to happen to you, it’s part of living. But you're strong and you can overcome them. Enjoy life. Embrace the sadness as well as the happiness. It's all a part of being on this earth.” Even though the love of my life died in a car accident, I was determined to make a future for myself and my son.
My best friend Angie was constantly busy with her boyfriend Lucas, but she came over weekly to visit. Although she wasn’t a baby fan, Angie played the role of pseudo-aunt well. I was in for a laugh the day she brought an unexpected gift for him.
"A homemade gift...” she said with a smile.
I couldn’t wait to see what she had made for Jonathan. Lately, she had become quite skilled with the sewing machine. It was something I would never have guessed she’d be good at. For some odd reason, Angie was turning into a domestic goddess under Lucas’ influence.
I took the yellow bow off the box and handed it to Jonathan. He immediately started gumming it. I eagerly ripped the baby blue paper and lifted the lid. I was amused to see a beautiful yellow sundress and burst out laughing.
“Do you remember?” she giggled.
“Of course I do!”
I clearly recalled the day she’d insisted I was having a baby girl even though Scott was certain it was going to be a boy. Angie said then that she would make a dress for her and I promised to have my baby wear it.
“Do you want him to try in on now?”
She looked horrified. “Oh no, don’t you dare do that to this sweet innocent boy. I just brought it for a laugh.”
I lifted up the dress to admire it. The stitching was flawless and the dress was girlie and sweet. “Ang, this is beautiful. I am going to save it as a keepsake. Do you mind?”
“Why would I mind? I made it for you.” She grinned and then played with the bow Jonathan was holding. He let out a delightful peal of laughter.
I carefully folded the dress and smiled at her. “So how is it going with Lucas these days?”
She beamed. “As wonderful as ever! He is teaching me so many new things and we travel everywhere together.”
“I’ve noticed. In fact, I am kind of shocked he lets you visit me once a week.”
Angie suddenly grew serious. “He knows how important you are to me. And…” she paused, shifting uncomfortably, “Lucas feels sorry for you.”
It was my turn to feel uncomfortable. “No need for him to feel that way. I’m doing all right. Being a single parent isn’t easy, but it has its rewards.” I stroked my son’s soft hair. I hated people feeling sorry for me, it really grated on my nerves. However, I knew Angie wasn’t trying to be hurtful so I let her comment roll off my back.
Not only did I have Angie’s weekly visits, but every Tuesday my parents planned special adventures for us. We went to different museums, zoos, and parks around the Denver area. Although the outings were fun, the best part for me was the fact my father had fallen in love with his role as a grandpa. My dad had the look and mannerisms of a no-nonsense banker. As a father he had been distant, but as “Paw Paw” he’d transformed into a whole new person.
“Where’s Jonathan?” he’d cry whenever he entered the house. My son lit up at the sound of my father’s voice. The man, who had always been so somber, got down on all fours and would roar like a lion to the glee of my son. Seeing him dote on Jonathan was the same as if he was focusing that attention on me, and it added a dimension to our relationship that had been lacking all of my adult life.
But I wasn’t only limited to visits by friends and family, I also had access to the outside world through my computer bulletin board system, The Lighthouse. I’d lost almost 50 users when it went offline after Scott’s death, but I was determined to get the numbers back up. It was my hope that another couple would meet on the BBS and fall in love, continuing the legacy Scott and I started on The Lighthouse.
I made quite a few changes to the BBS since I reinstated it. My focus was on building relationships rather than playing games, but in memory of Scott I kept his personal favorite, Trade Wars.
I expanded the discussion area by adding six new subs, including A Faith That Builds (a safe place to discuss personal beliefs) and I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up (a humorous sub celebrating life’s embarrassing moments). Both Daisy and Greywolf, two of my dearest friends, were in charge of a number of subs as well. I was confident an extensive variety of topics would help build the community and encourage more users to share.
One thing I especially enjoyed was opening discussions that were of personal interest to me. I had recently started one on who makes a better mother. The responses to it were eye-opening:
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Title: Better Mothers
From: Randolf #104
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In response to Phoenix's question about who makes the better mother - I have to say mothers who stay home. In fact, I think most of America's problems stem from the fact that mothers aren't home with their children. Too many parents would rather chase the all mighty dollar than raise their own children. That's why we have gangs and so much juvenile crime. Personally, it makes me sick!
--Randolf
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Title: I Support All Working Mothers!
From: Daisy #18
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Randolf, where do you get off blaming working mothers for all the ills in America? Such ignorance I cannot believe!
; I feel that a woman should work if that is what she wants. A woman who feels good about herself will do a far better job raising her children than one who is caring for her kids because she "has to". What about absentee fathers? You can’t blame women solely; men have an equal part to play in this.
Hurray for all women who are concerned enough about their children to make a good example by working!
--Daisy
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Title: Ignorance!
From: Mr. Ed #34
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I think both Randolf and Daisy are ignorant. This is not a woman vs. man problem, it is the complete disintegration of the family unit. If someone brings life into this world, than they better intend to do their best to make a good life for that child.
That does not mean wealth or material things, it means giving that child a stable home, love, encouragement and yes, discipline. I have two daughters that I am very proud of. They have successful lives and I take some credit for it.
--Mr. Ed
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Title: It Don't Matter
From: Crossbones #53
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You all act like this is a big deal. Let me tell you that my mother wasn't there for me and I'm just fine. I survived DESPITE my parents.
It don't matter. Your kids can make it fine without you. That's all I have to say.
--Crossbones
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Title: Wow, this is a charged subject
From: Phoenix #1
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I didn't realize how strongly people would respond to my question.
I personally believe children should be the first priority once two people decide to create a family. I'm a little surprised to find myself in agreement with you Mr. Ed, because you and I are usually on opposite ends of an argument.
Randolf, it's simplistic to blame the problems of today's youth on working mothers. But I do agree there are some mothers who work (claiming they need the money) when in reality they just don't want to give up the luxuries they've grown use to.
Daisy, I'm sure you recognize that some women want to stay home, and shouldn’t be made to feel less because of it. Being a full time mother is an important job, too.
Crossbones – hugs!
--Phoenix
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I said a quick prayer for Crossbones after I read the posts. Despite his protests, I could sense pain behind his words and my heart went out to him. The BBS and the people on it were an important part of my life—a second family to me. Even though I was alone in my home, I had over a hundred people I could talk to, learn from, and interact with.
Overall, I was content. I had been through a difficult tragedy and had made it through to the other side. My life was simple, but with my beautiful son, my faith in God and good people around me, I had enough to build a new life. I was moving forward and I knew Scott would be proud.
I was not prepared for what lay ahead.